NFL Headlines - Trouble in Titan Town

In the "I May be Drunk But You're Ugly. However, In the Morning I'll be Sober While You'll Still be Ugly" Category:

• Tennessee Safety Tank Williams became the second Titans player put in the slammer this week (Read yesterday's headlines about Samari Rolle) when he was arrested on a DUI. Ah, it brings back memories of the good old days when the NFL was said to stand for the National Felons League.

In the "Maybe Some of This Can be Used For Their Bail Money" Category:

• Tennessee QB Steve McNair is restructuring his contract to help get the Titans under their salary cap. His efforts should save the Titan's roughly $5 Million as they try to get under the cap by March 1. By the way, they are only a mere $27 Million over.

In the "Their Still Sleepless in Seattle" Category:

• The Seahawks can't decide whether to make QB Matt Hasselbeck or RB Shaun Alexander their Franchise player. Alexander is the odds on favorite as reports indicate some progress in negotiations with Hasselbeck. See, you should have given Alexander that ball 1 more time.

In the "Just Think What Would Happen If You or I Tried That" Category:

• After being designated the Bengals Franchise player, RB Rudi Johnson has indicated that he will sit out the entire season unless he gets a multi-year, fair-market offer. True at a mere $1.25 Million the average NFL salary is the lowest of the major pro sports (NBA is tops at $4.92 M, MLB 2nd at $2.5 M, the NHL 3rd [when playing] at $1.81 M) but then again they only play 16 regular season gave vs 162 for baseball and 82 for both ther NBA and the NHL. What's that? You say they deserve it because the average NFL player's career only lasts a few years? Think about this, a laborer whose job is as physically demanding as any player (only year round) would have to work for 25 years at an average $50 K/year to earn that $1.25 M. (and he doesn't even get a signing bonus)
  

In the "Man You Really Fowlered That Up" Category:

• Vikings' purchaser Reggie Fowler had to try to explain why some of the information in his released Bio which concerned his business, sports career, and educational background wasn't quite true. Come on Reggie, when you have that type of money, your success speaks for itself. You don't need to tell people you have a business degree when it's actually in Social Work. Just be yourself.

Finally,

In the "What a Bunch of Mularkey" Category:

• Bills Coach Mile Mularkey has confirmed that J.P. Losman will start for the Buffalo next year. A pretty bold statement for February, especially when the young fellow has seen 5 whole plays under center. We wish J.P. the best but don't be surprised if a more familiar name really ends up starting in 05.