Our Trade, Signing, and Other Predictions

As we noted earlier (See "The Body isn't Even Cold Yet") the trade rumor mill is already running wild. Is Randy Moss really on the trading block? Where will Travis Henry end up? Will Denver get a first round pick for Reuben Droughns?

Bottom line, teams can't do anything until March 2, by which time the entire landscape will have likely changed. In the meantime, the media scrambles frantically to come up with the "scoop of the day".

In keeping with the spirit of our more famous media siblings, here are a few of our predictions:

1. After learning the Medical Marijuana is no longer legal in California, Ricky Williams decides not to sign with the Oakland Raiders or the San Francisco 49ers.
2. Not realizing that the Redskins' offensive line can't open a hole big enough to drive through, Joe Gibbs signs Tony Stewart and Bobby Labonte as his new running backs.
3. Peyton Manning is released by the Colts after he reads a book by Woody Hayes and becomes a firm believer in the fact that of the three things that can happen when you throw a pass, two really are bad.
4. Randy Moss is traded to the Dolphins where he only appears on field during the playing of "Moon Over Miami".
5. In an effort to become the first team in history to have a starting lineup entirely named "Johnson" the Bengals trade for QB Brad Johnson, WR Keyshawn Johnson, DT Tank Johnson, C Al Johnson, and more to join their stable of current Johnsons (Rudi, Chad, Jeremi, Belton, Derrick, Eric, and Landon). To further prepare for their 2006 season goal of being the first team to have the entire starting lineup named "Eric Johnson" they also sign LB Eric Johnson (ATL) and TE Eric Johnson (SF) to go with their current DT, you got it, Eric Johnson.
6. The Cleveland Browns move to LA, change their name to the Crows and win the Super Bowl within 3 years. Meanwhile, the Patriots move to Cleveland, become the new Browns, and immediately lose 31 of their first 32 games.

More predictions tomorrow.