Fantasy Football 2006 - Draft Tip #13

Continuing in the "Lost in Space" vein of the my previous post...

"Last time, as you recall," we left out intrepid ban of space travelers searching the desolate regions of their planet for the rookie running back presence detected by the Robot. Little did they know that Dr. Smith had ordered the Robot to make the Jupiter 2's computers draft one of these rookies in the first 3 rounds, in the hope it would force them to return to Earth.


As we open this episode, Prof. Robinson and his wife Maureen are searching the NFC Desert in the Chariot while Major West is using the parajet thrusters to check the AFC Plateau.

Prof. Robinson: "Don, come in Don."

Major West: "Go ahead John."

Prof. Robinson: "We're just completing our search of the NFC Desert. The Robot was right. We found two rookie running backs in the south quadrant. What about you?"

Don: "I found three more on the AFC plateau, one in the east and two in the south."

Prof. Robinson (To Maureen): "It's worse than I thought; they seem to be surrounding the ship in hopes of forcing us into drafting one of them. If this theory is correct we could all be in terrible danger." (Activating his microphone) "Don, get back to the ship."

Meanwhile back at the Jupiter 2, Dr. Smith approaches Will and the Robot:

Dr. Smith: "Will, my fine lad, what are you doing?"

Will: "Dad was concerned about the rookie running backs so I decided to program the Robot with the information we had on them to see what he might be able to tell us."

Dr. Smith (Leering): "And?"

Will: "Report on running back analysis"

Robot: "Preliminary analysis of rookie running backs completed. Results contradictory."

Dr. Smith: "How so?"

Robot: "Assessment of potential by designated experts is not consistent with projected performance. Examples:

• LenDale White - He is a top prospect. Competing with frequently injured Chris Brown and Travis Henry could provide him an advantage. However, my computers indicate that Titans coach Norm Chow will use all three running backs decreasing any of their individual values.
  
• Joseph Addai - Some experts rank him ahead of players such as Corey Dillon and Curtis Martin. He is the most complete running back of the group but is expected to share duties with Dominic Rhodes, again reducing individual value.
• DeAngelo Williams - He will provide an excellent backup to DeShaun Foster. Foster played in only 4 games two seasons ago but was in 15 last year and 14 three years ago. Williams is not computed to see much action if Foster remains healthy.
• Lawrence Maroney - His success depends on the health and attitude of Corey Dillon. My sensors indicate that Maroney will be brought into the lineup gradually."
  

Dr. Smith: "So my computerized companion, which of this marvelous group of players could prove most harmful to our plans to reach Alpha Centauri?"

Robot: "My computers indicate that Reggie Bush poses the greatest risk to the mission. He has been picked as one of the best NFL prospects in recent history and is ranked ahead of established players by many experts. However, he still must play behind a Pro Bowl running back who is only 27. Sensors also indicate that Bush will not be used for short yardage and goal line situations which will further limit his value. "

Will: "So dad was right! I'd better go warn him."

Dr. Smith: "You do that my boy."

As Will runs off, Dr. Smith turns to the Robot

Dr. Smith: "Did you sabota... I mean adjust the Jupiter 2's draft computers as ordered?"

Robot: "Affirmative"

Dr. Smith: "Excellent. We should soon find ourselves on the way back to the green hills of Earth."

Just then the Chariot returns to the Jupiter 2. Simultaneously, Don is landing with the rocket belt. As Prof. Robinson is helping Maureen down from the Chariot, Will runs up.

Will: "Dad, dad, you were right. I had the Robot analyze the the rookie running backs and..."

Prof. Robinson: "I know son." (Turning to Major West) "Don, there's no time to waste. We need to double check the ship's draft computers"

Prof. Robinson and Major West enter the Jupiter 2. Penny and Judy, who had been working in the hydroponic garden, join Will and Maureen.

Judy: "Mother what is it?"

Maureen: "It's alright dear, your father and..."

Suddenly an explosion rips through the upper deck of the Jupiter 2. Dr. Smith and the Robot approach.

Robot: "Danger, Danger... Jupiter 2 draft computers overloading...Danger."

A second explosion occurs. (Dramatic Music)

To be Continued: Same Time, Same Website

For those of you that can't wait (or can't stand another Lost in Space parody) the Jupiter 2's draft computers are damaged beyond repair (at least for this season). While Professor Robinson and Major West emerge uninjured (but slightly dirty) we find that the Robinsons are now doomed to spend yet another season on that wretched planet.

Next up... Rookie WRs