Miami Mouths Fight Back

Seems like I ruffled a few feathers with my last post. I have received some messages from fans of "the u" (at least those couple that can read and write) concerning my sentimental views on their school. By the way, to R.W. in Florida, Miami is spelled MIami

Now I've never been one who is afraid to admit when I've spoken incorrectly or to apologize when wrong. So, to all you Miami fans, I say in with honesty and deep humbleness, this isn't the time to do that.

Face it, you lost the National Championship to THE Ohio State University fair and square. Stop crying about the last call (a correct one, by the way) that went against you and look at all the other ones that went in your favor. (Including the one in the last seconds of 4th quarter that would have given us the game in regulation.) The game is history, get over it.

Why is it that all the really obnoxious schools start with an M. ("the u", The University of MeatChicken, etc)?

If you would like to share you views on either side of this, remember you can always email me at: docbitters@statleader.com

Miami Mouth Goes South, Top Guy is Mile High

We all know that the two biggest stories in Cleveland and Denver are the needless season-ending injury suffered by Clowns TE Kellen Winslow and the signing of Jerry Rice by the Broncos. Since everyone else is giving his or her opinion, I thought I'd jump in with mine.

First, Mr. Winslow.

I didn't think I could have any less respect for young Kellen than I did after he shot his mouth off during his last season at "the u" (intentionally lower case). I was wrong. To totally disregard your responsibilities to your team, a team that needs your talents badly, is about as low as you can get professionally. Kellen, I'm sure your dad is real proud of you right now. If I were him I'd consider changing either your name or his.

Second, Mr. Rice:

I keep hearing reporters crying, "Why doesn't Jerry Rice quit before he disgraces himself." "He was the best, now he'll go out no better than a #4 receiver, a pathetic shadow of his former self." Well guys, ole Doc doesn't quite see it that way. I think Mr. Rice is still one of the best in the league. Sure he may have lost a step or two but that still leaves him well ahead of the rest of the pack. PLUS, he wants to play! In a sport filled with guys who "talk-the-talk" but never "walk-the-walk", Mr. Rice stands far above. He wants to play, not for money, but for the love of the game. Don't ever underestimate that.

Frankly, I think Denver made a great move. If they are smart enough to use him, they'll reap far greater rewards than most expected. (Sorry Mister2, but I think Jerry's gonna be a big sleeper)

Bonus Bash:

Why did I intentionally use lower caps on "the u" earlier, especially when I love THE Ohio State University? Well, it's because I can't stand the egotistical attitude that is implied by the term "the u". With all the universities in the country, you guys actually believe you are "the u"? Shoot, you can't even figure out how to put a letter M (for Miami), or a UM (for University of Miami), or a hurricane, or that stupid looking bird mascot, or even nothing on your helmets. But a U? Where do you think you guys are, Utah? (I can just see the graphic arts firm that sold the "u" logo to the university "See, it kind of looks like a goal post and besides, all the good looking Ms have already been taken.")

As for The Ohio State University, it's that way on the official university seal, has been since 1870. It's not egotistical it's tradition and pride. And, after all, we are the only "Ohio State University".

So I guess that brings us full circle. An egotistical Mr. Winslow who apparently did go to the appropriate school. Unfortunately, for him, he now has to learn concepts such as humility and teamwork. For the Clowns sake, let's hope it's not too much of a stretch.

Jerry Rice Joins Broncos

As we suggested May 19th, Jerry Rice has joined the Denver Broncos for his 21st season in the NFL.

Rice is reunited with Mike Shanahan, his offensive coordinator at San Francisco during 1992-1994.

Analysis: Jerry will be of little or no fantasy value playing in a Denver receiving corp with a great deal of depth.

One In, One Out?

"Gee Whiz(zinator)"

• It now appears that Vikings RB Onterrio Smith has been suspended for one year as a result of a 3rd drug rules violation. Meanwhile RB Michael Bennett has been named as the starter for the '05 season. Two thoughts:
• First, the injury bug has kept Bennett out of numerous games over the past few seasons, pick him with caution.
• Second, If Mr. Smith were in any profession other than sports he would be doing a year in jail rather than a year suspension for a third offense. If you had an ounce of intelligence Onterrio (you did go to college, right?) you would spend your time and money beating your drug problem rather than trying to find idiotic ways around the problem.

"Sure, but how does the Dali Lama feel about it?"

• RB Ricky Williams has indicated that he is looking forward to rejoining the Dolphins this season. Having just returned to California from India where he was studying holistic healing, Williams has had several discussion with Dolphins coach Nick Saban. Williams' agent has also said Ricky will "absoultely" report to the Dolphins this year. However, given Williams strange mood swings and our doubts as to how much of this is in reality financially motivated, we have concerns over how long Mr. W will actually play (if ever). Perhaps he should consult a higher authority, say maybe in Tibet?

Curses with Rice

In the news

"The Cleveland Curse Continues"

Having been raised in northeastern Ohio, I grew up with the "Cleveland Curse". While not commonly spoken of, this curse is more potent that the "Curse of the Bambino" and the "Billy Goat Curse" at their primes - combined. Why? Because it applies to all Cleveland teams at once.

For those of you that are not familiar with the Cleveland Curse, it actually functions in two ways. Here is how it works.

Way #1 - Any player, new or old, who been never been better that mediocre will immediately become a superstar the season after being traded or released by any Cleveland team.

Way #2 - Any superstar (potential or established) acquired by any Cleveland team will immediately turn into a significant underachiever, or will be lost to injury.

I first learned of the Cleveland Curse back in 1969 when the Indians acquired heralded Red Sox 1B/OF, 105 RBI man, Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson. Harrelson, who came with his own TV special (including his performance of "Don't walk the Hawk") was going to be the answer to the Indians' prayers. "Alright! Things will be great again in Cleveland! Yeh!" Well, not exactly. After a so-so year in '69, the Hawk played in only 69 games over the combined '70 and '71 seasons generating a pathetic 15 RBIs total.

You can track the curse over the years, the names are too numerous to count. For the Clowns (errr Browns) the most recent examples are Jeff Garcia and Kellen Winslow.

In keeping with the curse, StatLeader is predicting that, having left Cleveland, Mr. Garcia will have a banner Fantasy Football year and should be a top QB pick.

As for Mr. Winslow, the saga of his latest injury continues. While the Clowns have now learned the extent of the Miami Mouth's injury, the Winslow family will not give permission for that information to be released. The fear keeps popping up that it may be season ending ACL damage. Given the curse, we wouldn't be surprised if it is.

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"I'd like some Rice with that combo please"

GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) WR Jerry Rice may be headed to Denver and a reunion with old friend Mike Shanahan, Why? Simple.

Denver did not draft a WR and as such carries vet Rod Smith with some young-uns, most notably Ashley Lelie and Darrius Watts. Adding Rice to that combo would provide backup for Smith and a teacher for Lelie and Watts. Also, the Broncos are expected to use a lot of four and five receiver sets this year. Combine this with the fact that Rice averaged 14.3 yards per catch (best since '95), it seems like a natural fit.

Trials and Tribulations

"One in, One Out"

• It looks like Titanics first round draft pick Adam "Pac-Man" Jones is free and clear of his alleged problem with the law. Witnesses have indicated he did nothing wrong (except perhaps for the company he was keeping) and his court appearance has been dismissed. Meanwhile, Ravens LB Terrell Suggs has his trial for aggravated assault scheduled to begin on Monday.

"More on Onterrio's Gee Whizzinator"

• As we noted yesterday Vikings RB Onterrio Smith was found in possession of a device used to get around drug testing. As we also told you, the device is known as "The Orginal Whizzinator". Well, more details have started to leak (sorry) out about this device. It apparently is shaped like a...ahhhh. Well sort of like a..... Actually it's like a male...well you get the point(sorry). It comes (sorry) with dried urine inside (for the actual test we assume). It is also allegedly available in 9 different skin tones. It's hard (sorry) to imagine the lengths (sorry) that some will go to in order to get around the rules. Whatever excuse Onterrio eventually produces, it seems pretty limp (sorry) to us.

We're Baaaack (at full strength no less)

With our move virtually (no pun intended) complete, we are now ready to resume normal operations. While a major pain, we believe that the new services we will be bring you more than justify it. Keep your eyes open as the changes will start soon. Meanwhile, in the news:

"Now we know why the Titans felt he was NFL material"

• The Tennessee Titanic's first round draft pick Adam "Pac-Man" Jones will appear in a Georgia court Friday on an alleged battery charge. While Jones may actually be innocent in this case, we wonder if the Titanics, who had several payers run afoul of the law earlier this year, sense something special in Jones.

"At least the MeatChicken cheerleaders still won't be able to graze there"

• After receiving horrible reviews from the NFL players on the AstroTurf in the RCA Dome, Colts team officials are replacing it with FieldTurf. Considered by players to be far superior to AstroTurf, the FieldTurf is felt to help reduce player injuries.

"No wonder they couldn't figure out how to win the Super Bowl"

• The entire Philadelphia team (other than rookies and injured players) will miss a complete week of practice for violating an NFL rule concerning scheduling of on-field activities during the off season. Come on guys, this isn't rocket science (confirmed by Rocket man). Isn't there anyone in the Eagles organization that has botherd to read the rules? By the way, players with workout bonuses will still get their money.

"I can't even begin to come up with a headline that tops this"

• By now most of you know that Vikings RB Onterrio Smith was found in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport with a kit used to get around drug testing. As bad as the situation is, the product used takes this situation to the absurd. Its name? We kid you not..."The Original Whizzinator".

Eagles Won't Renegotiate Owens' Contract

"It's not even an issue," Lurie told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "It's a non-issue. There are a lot of things I spend time thinking about, but that's not one of them."

Asked whether he expects Owens to be with the Eagles during the upcoming season, Lurie said: "If he wants to win a Super Bowl, he sure should be."

QB Donovan McNabb said he expects Owens to play for the Eagles this year.

"He has a contract," McNabb said. "There is desire to have more money and there is the desire to lose money. That would at least give you the motivation to get back out there on that field."

"When you sign your name on the dotted line, that's your deal, and that's a decision you have to make."

What has been going on?

You know that I recently drove the StatLeader van across the country. You may have also noticed the lack of NASCAR stats from Rocket Man and limited posts by myself over the past few weeks. What has been going on?

Well, we are pleased to announce that we are in the process of opening the StatLeader east coast office. While Mister2 and Johnny Wishbone will continue to anchor the west coast offices (Mister2 in LA and Johnny in Bakersfield) Rocket Man and I have packed our families up and moved east to join the Crew Chief.

We are doing this in an effort to bring you even better coverage of the eastern parts of the NFL as well as to be in the hot bed of NASCAR.

It's taking us a while to get all of our files set up and computers connected but we'll be back up and running full strength in the next week or so. In the meantime, special thanks to Mister2 for doing double duty. Also, watch for the StatLeader van tooling around the Washington DC Capitol Beltway.

Meanwhile, one news item:

"It's a shame he can't catch passes with his mouth"

• The Eagles released WR Freddie Mitchell who showed that he was all talk and no action while filling in for the injured Terrell Owens last season. Still, we suspect some team will be stupid enough to provide Mitchell with a multi-million dollar deal to repeat his act for them.

Can Rice be a San Francisco Treat Once Again?

SANTA CLARA - Jerry Rice is considering making one more appeal to coach Mike Nolan in hopes of returning to the 49ers for a farewell season.

If the 49ers don't bite, Rice said Thursday that he might retire.

"It's looking real dark. This might be it," Rice said during a break from his workout at a Bay Area health club. "I've had a few other options, but right now, I'm having a hard time seeing myself in another uniform."

Rice, 42, spent his first 16 seasons with the 49ers, helping them win three of their five Super Bowl titles before being cut in a salary-cap move in June 2001. He is without a team after being released in February by the Seattle Seahawks, who acquired him last season from the Raiders.

A team Rice declined to identify has expressed interest, he said, but he still wants to "say goodbye the right way" by rejoining the 49ers.

Rice said he approached the 49ers two months ago about coming back, and his agent, Jim Steiner, also had conversations with Nolan and owner John York.

Nolan, who has said the 49ers would welcome Rice back but not as a player, reiterated that stance in a statement released by the team Thursday.

"As I have always said, Jerry Rice is not only the best receiver in 49ers history, but the best receiver of all time," Nolan said. "We have a lot of respect for what he has done in his career. We would love to have Jerry retire as a 49er, but our plan is to develop the players we currently have on our roster."

That type of reasoning puzzles Rice.

"I understand them wanting to move on, but I didn't understand how this would set them back," Rice said. "If anything, I think I would bring a very positive perspective to the 49ers. And also it gives me the opportunity to end my career where I started. I feel like both parties would be able to get something out of this."

Analysis: Are there four receivers on the 49ers better than Jerry Rice? Give him the minimum, let him show the youngsters a good work ethic - and give him one more chance to do what he could have done gracefully in 2001. Is that asking too much from a 2-14 team?

Bucs add Depth with Veteran Receiver

TAMPA, FL - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers added Ike Hillard to their receiving corps today.

The former University of Florida star signed with the Bucs after a career with the New York Giants of 368 career receptions for 4,630 yards and 27 touchdowns. At Florida, Hilliard helped the Gators win the 1996 national title. He also played in one Super Bowl with the Giants.

A durable and consistent starter (92 of 98 games), Hilliard is described by Bucs coach Jon Gruden as "...a versatile player... a guy we are really going to lean on."

Analysis: After seeing how many players were lost last season - depth can be the difference between first and worst.

Winslow Violates Contract?

Tight end Kellen Winslow Jr.'s internal injuries from a motorcycle accident are improving, but the Cleveland Browns are concerned with damage to his right knee, the team said Wednesday.

Winslow was injured in an accident that sent him flying over the handlebars of his newly purchased motorcycle Sunday night.

The Browns issued a statement saying his knee will continue to be re-evaluated but declined to provide any specifics.

Winslow remains hospitalized at the Cleveland Clinic.

Winslow's injuries are another setback for him and the struggling Browns. His rookie season ended when he broke his right leg during an onside kick in a Week 2 loss against Dallas. He lost a $5.3 million bonus last season because of the leg injury that dealt a severe blow to Cleveland's offense.

With his leg still on the mend, Winslow purchased a sport bike last month and was learning how to ride it in a parking lot when he hit a curb.

Winslow's use of a motorcycle may have violated standard NFL player contract language that prohibits players from engaging in dangerous activities. If so, Cleveland could require him to pay back a $4.4 million signing bonus he received in March.

The Browns have declined to comment on his contract.

Winslow held out last year before signing a $40 million contract as the No. 6 pick in the NFL draft.

Analysis: Rookie Lesson #2: Stupid can be expensive.